"It's a real shame," (said John Aiken, spokesman for the Minnesota secretary of state’s office). "I can imagine the conversations being held in American Legion Clubs and VFWs about whether this is a joke or not."

Having spent much of my youth in Legion halls and VFWs, I envision such a conversation as this:

WWII VET: Put his vote up for sale on the internets?… on the Fourth of Ju-ly, of all days! They oughta lock that boy up and throw away the key. Come to think of it, sending him to I-rack would fix his wagon best, I reckon. Wouldn’t be joking then, by golly!

KOREA VET: Joe Simons down to the barbershop told me they’s folks selling their whole lives on the eBay… one divorced fella was disappointed at fetching only 400 grand for all his worldly possessions, including his friends! What’s the world coming to?

GULF WAR VET: Rev. Peters preached in his sermon last Sunday that blasphemers have tried to sell their souls that way, too. Bidding reached 400 bucks for one guy’s before eBay called off the auction. Now some idiot in Australia or somewheres is allowed to put his up, long as he sends the buyer a framed deed of soul ownership. That way there’s a lawful transfer of a physical object, they say.

VIETNAM VET: I’d start that bidding at a punk-nickel! Do I hear a punk-nickel for a dusty bushwhacker’s slightly used soul?

Laughs all round, followed by another round all round.

IRAQ VET (from a corner booth): Sirs, what do you think'd be offered up now for that Minnesota kid’s First Amendment rights on the block? Just about what was bid for his vote, I suppose. 

Silence all round. IRAQ VET picks up his cap from the table and heads for the door, where he pauses, then turns thoughtfully toward the others.

IRAQ VET: You know, Mark Twain said statistics show that we lose more  fools on this day than in all the other days of the year put together, and that this  proves, by the number left in stock, that one Fourth of July is now inadequate,  the country has grown so. I guess he was referring to the fools lost to fireworks, but who knows--ol' Mark’s more ancient than that law they resurrected to send up that young jokester. Happy Independence Day, gentlemen. I gotta blaze a trail.